Tuesday, September 25, 2007

So, You Want A Man?

You know what? I don't care what anyone thinks or says after they read this. If you noticed above this blog page, the header reads, 'Just Telling It Like It Is. No Apology Necessary!' If you have an issue with it, no apologies from me. Blame Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It is not my fault they wrote the book, 'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Guys.' I mean they are so fr**king right, it hurts to admit that as women, we have made some if not all of the mistakes they outline in the book. I am not embarassed to tell you that I have read this book and they are on Point!!! That's right, they got the gist on us ladies.

Why do we keep making excuses for a man when we know deep down he is not feeling us and that whatever we think is going on, is all in our head? Come on, tell the truth. You know you have done it. I have and it is part of life. It happens. There is no need to be ashamed about it. Embrace your feelings, deal with your desires and learn to control your proclivities, and then move on. Easy to say, hard to accomplish but hell you can do it.

When did we forget about letting the man be a lion and hunt us down. Truth be told, if a man really wants you, nothing is going to get in his way. That is the God honest truth. So, if you think you are the precious sun in his cloud, get over it. Think about it, 6 months, a whole year comes and goes, and he keeps telling you he is busy. Get the message, cut yourself some dignity and move on. I mean shut the door. Better still, slam it, that's right, a slam dunk and move on.

Don't go looking for excuses to call him so you can hear his coarse voice. What's wrong with a brotha calling a sista if he is really feeling her right?

If you are better than me in some cases and can maintain a friendship, go ahead but do not expect anything. Get your focus right and get busy. What are your passions? Start living for them. The right man for you will find you doing your thing. Get your groove back ladies.

Please for anyone out there, who is defending the friendship syndrome, I am not saying it is impossible but let's keep it real here. That is pure unadulterated bullsh*t. I am not a defender of the feminist movement and I have never counted myself to be one. However, one must tell the truth for what it is. Get over it and get a life.

I sympathise that it hurts to really like someone and they are not feeling you but that's life. It can be and is sometimes a b**ch. We all have to deal with it. If you learn this truth that your immediate needs are your wants and your needs will be met at the right time. You will be okay in the long-run. Stop going about town, telling everyone you need a man. We all do, well if you are straight that is. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with meeting the right person for you but you have got to celebrate yourself before he comes along or you are going to suffocate him. Enjoy the ride. Being a singleton might be a bus stop right now but the right man who will fufill and satisfy you on all sides is round the corner. If you like being touched like I do, even better. Bring it on baby!!!!

It is okay to have those moments when you don't want to go out with your girlfriends and want a man you can lean on. Don't deny what you feel but don't let it control you either. If not, you will find yourself settling for better than nothing and sooner than later, start wondering what went wrong?

Let me put it like this; it is a case whereby you really want a full course meal but because the local chip shop is closer, you settle for fish and chips. When you could have gone all to the to a five star restaurant, enjoyed the food and go one better, the atmosphere.

I'll say no more.


Image from Amazon Books

Underground Manners

A funny thing happened the other day. I was on my way to Waterloo Station and decided the quickest way to get there was via London Liverpool Street Sation, then get the Central Line to Bank Station and from there, get the Bakerloo line, which goes directly to Waterloo Station. All of this of course was happening underground; London Underground, one of the oldest tube networks in the world. Okay enough of the travel log.

While evenings tend to be rush hour as everyone makes their way home. You are never an ear short of something comical or experiencng a comdey show down below. Today was no different. Under the City of London, there is life to be discovered. It is a sight to behold and the one liners that come your way, stay with you for a very long time.

Well, on this occassion, it was the train driver. Fair to say it is bl**dy hot down under and when the heat gets to you, you are not responsible for your actions or the words you utter. What a lame excuse? There is no reason to be rude because you are having a bad day. However, it does happen and such is life.

As usual, you will get the announcement over the intercom saying, "Doors closing, do not obstruct the doors." Unfortunately, someone may have done so unknowingly. Needless to say the train driver comes banging on the intercom and I mean his bodacious rant was rather animated in delivery. It got me thinking; when did we fall short of our ability to be civil on the job? His words were, "What part of do not obstruct the doors don't you understand?" At first, I could not help but think to myself, is he asking a polite question or is he just being rude and feels he has the right to speak to London Underground passengers the way that pleases him? It is either he has another job lined up or he is just naturally bold with no reserve or remorse whatsoever?

I must add, his little tirade got a few chuckles from passengers and hilarious that it was taken so well. If I had any premonition that I was going to hear his choice of words that evening; I would have taken a tape recorder along and recorded it for archive purpose.

While his words were rude and uncalled for in my opinion, it was also funny to dissect his question. Truly speaking, what part of 'Do not obstruct the doors' don't people understand? Is it (A) 'Do not' or (B)'Obstruct the doors?' Same way you would ask an indivividaul; 'What part of No don't you understand?' Is it the 'N' or the 'O?'

I guess that's life on the underground for you. Never a dull moment!!!

If you want more interesting stories about life down below London, visit:

London Underground Map from Google Images

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Financial Journal

I want this, I want that, I want it all. Isn't that the mentality we end up having after having everything our way. Keeping up with our friends, always looking all styled and profiled. Getting the compliments and being the centre of attention. Ouch!!! That hurts, doesn't it? It hurts to admit the truth and even more painful when you are paying the bills. Knowing fully, you didn't need the jacket or those shoes but you went ahead and purchased them.

I am not here to condemn you, truth be told, I am warning myself and learning my lessons like you. There is no need for the regret table to be drawn out and we rehearse the decisions we took, knowing we didn't need to go down that route. However, it is time to reposition ourselves, change our paradigm and do things differently. I know I want to. What about you?

Funny how it all starts, its only a bag we say to ourselves. I am sure I can make-up the difference. We use the bag and after a while we see something else we need. When did we get to the place where our wants and needs got mixed up, and we messed up the budget we started working on, at the beginning of the year? How about those New Year resolutions we made to ourselves? When did we forget the promises we made about our vision, purpose and goals for the future? This is where I ask, what's your financial vision for today, tomnorrow and the next five to ten years?

You may be in that boat with a sinking feeling, you don't know what you own or have in the bank? You don't have a financial action plan and you want your finances back on track. I don't have the answers but I can tell you one or two things that might help you.

It starts with a conscious decision to do better financially. It isn't just about saving the money but invest as well. Look, we have all made the mistake but there is no need beating yourself up now. Its time to do something about it. The big '30' beckons for me and I'm asking myself about the future. I have questions about my finances and it hit me; the mistakes I have made but can't go back and change. I can only aim from now on to do better. It is never too late. Don't get me wrong, looking back, it hurts. I knew what I was doing. There is no need playing that card of 'oh, I didn't know.' Ignorance has no part in this. It was all me. I made those decsions, living for the moment and not thinking about the tomrrow I was entering into. It takes a lot to be so honest with myself but that's the first step to making things right.

What have I done so far? Every month, I have a budget and I keep track of my expenses. Some months I do better than others. However, I have no plans to stop, I am going to keep at it until I get it right. I have set my financial goals and I now keep a financial journal. I am also reading books that teach you how best to manage your finances and invest the little you have now because tomorrow, it will be a whole lot more.

My heart bleeds at my financial mistakes when I look back but crying about it won't change things. Its time for a financial make-over. It is never too late. Change your mind about those habits and start living in today because you want your financial freedom for tomorrow. Cut some cards, leave some at home when you are going out. Only take what you need. Draw up your shopping list and only buy what you need.

As for looking all styled and profiled, learn to recycle, that's what I am doing from now on. You don't like what I have on, please run along and fix your eyes on someone else. I look fab! bye!!!

I have been reading the books above this blog entry and I pray you find them useful. Invest in your mind and change your mind about your financial future in order to gain your freedom. Start keeping a financial journal, you will be amazed, the difference it makes when you know your financial habits and patterns.


Images from Amazon Books

AFRICCHIC - Proud To Be African

I have interviewed people and wrote features in the few years I have been journalist. I must say without a doubt; this is one subject I am so proud to be associated with. It was an experience I would sit through again and again. There are people you meet and you are forced to ask, why aren't we all so humble and unassuming? I wish I had the answer to that but I don't. Hence, I won't even try to give you my philosophical response. I would mess it up and fail woefully. Yes that's right, I am not afraid or ashamed to tell you that I don't have the answer. You figure it out and let me know.

Moving on, Runway Africa is the brainchild of Clarissa Abban, a Ghanian-American and her vision is to see Africa celebrated for all its beauty. I say why the hell not? Finally, its not about the images of war or starvation, Africa is rich with raw materials and great wealth that is yet to be discovered. I know the West is rich and thriving but I'll let you in on a secret; the wealthiest place on earth is not Europe or the Americas. It is right in Africa, there is natural resources, down beneath the earth, yet to be discovred and I will take that to the World Bank any time, any day and it wil stick. Oh hell yes! I said it. I refuse to apologise for saying so. Check!

The first face for Runway Africa is Angela Asare, you will recognise her as the Ghanian contestant in the 2006 Miss Universe pageant. She won the Miss Congeniality award. She is truly all things African and the reason she got involved; to celebrate Africa for its beauty and not its failures. Finally, we are beginning to realise we have a lot to offer to the world. It has always been there but for a long time, we were waiting for hand-outs. I say its time to fend for ourselves and raise our own profile and stop waiting for the different NGO's to do the job for us. Oh yes, I'm on a roll and like I said, no apology necessary.

Runway Africa is about celebrating African Arts and fashion. It is about 'AfriChic'. The new Afro-eccentric. Here is a new one, 'Afropolitan' just like you have Cosmopolitan, I'm proud to say that I am Afropolitan.

I could go on and on about Runway Africa and the fact that Clarissa is only 22yrs old, yet she has a vision so big, I see it becoming a landmark event. I could tell you about the designers showcasing their work but that will be taking the fun of discovery away from you. I would prefer you see it for yourself.

Image: Courtesy of Runway Africa

To find out more, visit:

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Well Worth It

I have read books by African Writers and felt proud to be African. When I read 'Half Of A Yellow Sun, I can bodly say, I'm proud to be African and a Nigerian.

She derseved the Orange Prize. To cut this long story of 433 pages short, I learnt more about the Nigerian Civil War from this book than I did at school as youngster. I know, not so good but get over it. That'w why we read books right?

I don't need to write any more to tell you about this book, the characters, tell you the story. Get yourself a copy and read. Selah!

Image from Amazon Books

Hell! You Can Do It!

I have often wondered when you get to that point where you can say to yourself, well done!!! You got that right. Now keep walking, don’t stop. When do you get to that place in life, where you know without a doubt that you have arrived at your destination? Success beckons and you are certain this is it. No going back.

I don’t think we ever get to that place where you can fully say I have done all that I was born to do. There is always something to do. You might be elated about one achievement but before you know it, something else comes along that needs your attention.

I am a firm believer in positive thinking. Honestly, why occupy your mind with idle and meaningless thoughts when you can get creative and become a genius?

Look around you, what are people doing? Who do you aspire to become in the bear future? Why not find out what they are up to and get going? Study their habits and the patterns of their life, their success and failures? You will be amazed the number of times they gave it their all before they hit the ‘Big Time.’

I don’t know what your dream is but I know what mine is all about. I dream big and sometimes that gets me into trouble but hell, I refuse to die a photocopy of the society I have found myself in. I am original, created for this time and I am prefect for my assignment. If you go back to my previous entries, there is one titled ‘Dream Like A Fool,’ where I share my passion for writing stage plays. I am on it, doing my research, one day at a time. For me, it is a long term project. So, I am on track though there are days when I don’t think so. However, when I look back on my achievements, I am more than grateful to be here because not once did I think I would ever get the opportunity to do all that I am doing. I am willing to do the work, pay the price, so I can obtain the prize.

There is where I ask, what are you doing? How far have you come with your dream? Are you still in the land of tomorrow and then tomorrow gets here and before you know it, it is gone and, becomes yesterday? Take it from those who have gone ahead of us. Having a dream is the land of the unknown, it is no man’s land but when you discover the known in that unknown, you have mastered it and guess what another unknown is on the way to be discovered.

Hey, I am no expert, just an African Girl, who dreams big, wild at heart and I’m all things African but I’ll tell you what, I refuse to die as a counterfeit and hell no! I am not giving up. I just started because there is still so much to do.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is doing it, Chinua Achebe is still achieving in his old age, what’s stopping you and I from winning those coveted prizes we only hear about?

Wake up, smell the coffee and refuse to go back to the soil with every dream you carry. Stop putting that task off. Get going, start working that dream.

Hell No! I forbid you to die without a legacy.

Image from Google Images