Tuesday, February 26, 2008

What have I been Up To?

Life sure has a way of knocking sense into us. Like it or not, your life's trajectory is in your hands and if you do nothing about it, get ready to watch life happen rather you making it happen.

We can all make up an excuse for why we are busy. Yet, achieving nothing. I can't speak for anyone but myself. Studying for a full time degree is scary, working at the same time is hard. Doing all you can to make it in a world where you are the 'Queen B' one day and a nobdy the next, even harder. A world where people can be flaky but you must remain true to who you are.

A world where you will meet some of the nicest people and don't be fooled, some of the cheekiest also. That's my way of not wanting to use the word nasty. However, none of that matters. It isn't about them. Its all about you and what you want out of your life's experiences.

I have just finished a degree, now working on a postgrad and at the same time wanting to earn a living. What I have been up doesn't compare to the lessons I have learnt. The biggest being that life is indeed what you make it.

You will only get from it what you put into it. Bottomline, if you want it bad enough, you will do what you need to do and do it well to get to where you want to get to.

I have cried and asked questions. Sometimes, I get no answers. Sometimes I am too slow is the response I get. 'You need to move faster' my intuition tells me. I sit down and argue but I'm moving. It says 'Na! Not fast enough. You are making excuses and I don't like excuses.

This brings me to what I have been up. Why leave my blogpage unattended to for a little while when writing is my passion? Where did all my energy go to? I wish I had answers.

I haven't been playing for sure. Like I said, was finishing off a degree, now working on a postgrad and still writing for every publication that likes the ideas I send them.

Is that enough? Hell no. I need to do more and time is moving faster than I can keep up with it.

Hence, I feel lazy some days and other days angry that I am not doing enough. Everyone around me tells me I'm and I shouldn't be hard on myself. You see, I don't know how not to be hard on myself. Sometimes, it feels like that's the only way, I can stop making excuses, get off my ass and get some work done.

Do I sound like a perfectionist? Yes I am but I have learnt, 'perfection is a myth but excellence is a reality.' Now, I am working on being excellent. That is what I have been up to. Taking life as it comes but making the most of it, so it doesn't leave me behind.