“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit; reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” (Maxim – taken from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey)
What does it mean to listen? Dictionary.com defines it as:
A - "To give attention with the ear."
B - "To make an effort to hear something."
C - "To pay attention."
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=listening
Listening is a skill you consciously adopt, cultivate and nurture in the process of self development. Lately I have been working on my ability to listen to others while they talk. It has been a steep learning curve because I can attest to the fact that I used to be a poor listener and that affected my relationships with other people in not so many good ways. I wasn’t discerning enough to realise there were times I needed to shut my mouth and just listen. Looking back there were moments all I was supposed to contribute to the conversation; was to keep quiet and not interrupt the other person as they spoke even if I had an opinion on the matter.
I soon realised it was not a good trait to have especially when you are in a conversation with someone and they have to tell you: “Can you please listen to me” or “Please let me finish.” How embarrassing to be told so politely to keep your trap shut.
It is important to study yourself and one of the best ways of doing so is through your ability to relate to others; you learn so much from listening to the other person. Right now I am working on my ability to be a good listener. It helps when you listen to others because you might not be able to comment on their pressing need but your ability to listen to them alone is already a seed meeting a need.There are times when that’s all certain individuals need; someone to listen to them. One of the reasons you will sometimes hear people say: “I wish someone would just listen to me.”
Even kids need to be listened to and heard. They may be small people but they matter a great deal and so does what they have to say. Imagine if we took time to really listen to our kids what a difference that would make to our families. We are always happy to tell them what to do but we never take the time to ask them what they would like to do. There times when the answer to certain minor challenges lie inside the child next to you. How about when you are looking for that fancy bag you used last week but couldn’t be bothered to put it in the right place when you returned home and now you are like a hurricane looking for what to destroy and making others around you uncomfortable. That’s when you hear her sweet little voice “Mummy it is in the laundry basket.” How stupid do you think you will feel as a parent?
1 comment:
Thanks for your post about listening and your stories about your own growth as a listener. I especially appreciate your note that, "…your ability to listen to them alone is already a seed meeting a need." So true!
If you or others reading your blog would like to practice and improve their listening skills, I invite you to join my husband and me for a free class we’re teaching over the phone in November. It’s called Listening for Love: Effective Listening for Couples.
Thanks again and keep up the great practice!
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