It is always scary to expose yourself through your words because you don't want people to form an opinion before they meet you or hear you talk. However, as a writer, you are your words and your words are you.
A few weeks ago, I told someone my age and she almost fell over because she could not believe the teenager she was starring at or at least the young lady she thought was in her early twenties was way past her teens and twenties.
I didn't take any offence because if I did, I would have fought with every bus driver who asked me to pay child fare when I first came to the UK. I must be honest and let you know that I did pay the child fare they asked and saved a few pennies...don't look at me like that. You know if you were in my shoes you would do the same.
So, what's telling my own truth? Telling my own truth is the fact that I was confronted with that friend known as the green eyed monster this week. You know when you hear good news about others and you are in desperate need for the same news. Luckily this good news is not yours.
I tried real hard to be happy for her. I showed interest, asked questions and went through the motions. But when I looked at myself, I knew I had wished that was me. Am I being too hard on myself? No. You see, I was brought up to always be happy for others because you will have others celebrate with you.
I have also been taught that it is sometimes hard to be cheerful at someone else's good news when you are in desperate need of one. It was just so hard to reconcile these truths this week.
I was really angry at myself because I know I am better than that. I know I am on a different journey and path in life. So, why was I feeling this way about a good thing? Why did I feel the need to make an effort to celebrate in another person’s good news?
This isn't me. I am Belinda Otas, the lady that was raised with nothing and has learnt to make it happen for herself. I must say I didn't do it all on my own. I have always had people to help me.
Why did I react and not respond? That is what I have been taught to do, be matured. Why did I act like a spoilt little child?
I could go on and on and might not even arrive at a good enough response.
When I got home, I sat down and asked myself, why did I do that? What was behind my action? I had to say to myself, this is what telling my own truth is about.
When I face myself with no one else around and tell me, myself and I that I messed up. That I know better and should do better. But I must also tell myself that I am a human being and these feelings are all part of growing up and I should never be afraid of exploring what I feel as long as I don't let it control me.
Telling my own truth is about confronting my weaknesses and digging deep at the root of anything that could come back and haunt me in the future. Telling my own truth is not being afraid to admit my flaws while embracing my strengths.
I know am good at what I do and I don't say that out of arrogance but from the very fact that I have worked hard to get here and I am going to keep going.
(I must come back and explore this)
A few weeks ago, I told someone my age and she almost fell over because she could not believe the teenager she was starring at or at least the young lady she thought was in her early twenties was way past her teens and twenties.
I didn't take any offence because if I did, I would have fought with every bus driver who asked me to pay child fare when I first came to the UK. I must be honest and let you know that I did pay the child fare they asked and saved a few pennies...don't look at me like that. You know if you were in my shoes you would do the same.
So, what's telling my own truth? Telling my own truth is the fact that I was confronted with that friend known as the green eyed monster this week. You know when you hear good news about others and you are in desperate need for the same news. Luckily this good news is not yours.
I tried real hard to be happy for her. I showed interest, asked questions and went through the motions. But when I looked at myself, I knew I had wished that was me. Am I being too hard on myself? No. You see, I was brought up to always be happy for others because you will have others celebrate with you.
I have also been taught that it is sometimes hard to be cheerful at someone else's good news when you are in desperate need of one. It was just so hard to reconcile these truths this week.
I was really angry at myself because I know I am better than that. I know I am on a different journey and path in life. So, why was I feeling this way about a good thing? Why did I feel the need to make an effort to celebrate in another person’s good news?
This isn't me. I am Belinda Otas, the lady that was raised with nothing and has learnt to make it happen for herself. I must say I didn't do it all on my own. I have always had people to help me.
Why did I react and not respond? That is what I have been taught to do, be matured. Why did I act like a spoilt little child?
I could go on and on and might not even arrive at a good enough response.
When I got home, I sat down and asked myself, why did I do that? What was behind my action? I had to say to myself, this is what telling my own truth is about.
When I face myself with no one else around and tell me, myself and I that I messed up. That I know better and should do better. But I must also tell myself that I am a human being and these feelings are all part of growing up and I should never be afraid of exploring what I feel as long as I don't let it control me.
Telling my own truth is about confronting my weaknesses and digging deep at the root of anything that could come back and haunt me in the future. Telling my own truth is not being afraid to admit my flaws while embracing my strengths.
I know am good at what I do and I don't say that out of arrogance but from the very fact that I have worked hard to get here and I am going to keep going.
(I must come back and explore this)
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