In the last three years, I can boldly confess that I have not missed an issue of Essence. It is and will forever be one of my all time favourite magazines. I find it therapeutic to read the stories of courage and empowerment every month. The magazine caters to the needs of an African beauty like me.
The first time I read the column, ‘In The Spirit’ by Susan L. Taylor, I was blown away. It was touching, honest and real. Here is a woman, who is known world over sharing her heart and soul, from her failures to her success, her fears, insecurities and anxieties. It takes courage to stand bold and be naked with other women because you know what we are like. Come on tell the truth, you know I am talking about you.
I thought to me myself, isn’t she a lady? She is the epitome of beauty, at 61, she looks good for a granmama. I love her to bits. Then I discovered the first instalment of those powerful columns I had been reading for months. She had put it into a book years back. If you have never read, ‘In The Spirit, The Inspirational Writings’ Of Susan L. Taylor, go get yourself a copy.
I am not one for plugging people’s product but you should get one as a woman. Read a chapter before you go to bed, meditate and girl! You will feel good about life and love even if you are all alone in your bed.
Since then, I have read every article by her religiously. It gives me strength to know a woman like Taylor is willing to stand naked before the world, and she is not afraid to say, this is who I’m.
Her latest offering, ‘All About Love’, is no different. Powerful, punchy and straight to the point; she is telling it like it is and I’m saying ride on sista. The stage is yours.
Once again, Taylor takes us on a journey of self-discovery, inner strength, self-love, faith to walk on water, forgiveness, family, finding peace, your love relationship with yourself and of course your man. She tells us about her struggles, her fears and how she takes each day as it comes to her.
Above all, she puts things into perspective from the point of view that there is a higher source you can always go to. She tells us the answer to life, our challenges and those personal issues your friends don’t even know about is LOVE.
When you love yourself, you will treat yourself right and because you are love, those around you will also feel the love that is within you because it will come out. You can’t fake it, sooner or later, the mask will come off.
I have devoured my copy every night since I got it but when I got to the section on relationships, it blew my mind. Here I am, a young woman in waiting. If you are wondering what that means, it means, I am a single lady who knows one of these days, she is going to meet the right man for her. You know what we call it. My heartbeat. At the same time, I am doing what I know to be better in life because I don’t want to mistreat my man. Hell no, he gets enough of that out there. Hence, when he gets home sista needs to set the atmosphere for brotha to flow.
Guess what Miss Taylor did to me, she took the lid off. She told me the truth to my face and said, Belinda, you have work to do. It isn't all about getting the man. You must be ready for whatever he brings on board. Ouch! That hurt but it is the truth. How about this for some home truth?
“When a sister is connected to her spiritual core, she has found her glory. She is on fire with desire for living and loving. She’s openhearted, full of joy and passion. Her way of living is an expression of reverence for life – for her own and all others – so she’s soft and sensitive. She honours above all else her covenant with God, and so she wants for nothing. Men of dignity and faith show up. They can’t resist her. They feel at home with her because she’s at home with herself.” Susan L. Taylor – author, All About Love
Can you boldly say you are at home with yourself? That is the task every young woman out there should set for herself, to be at home with herself. To be comfortable and love who she is and never apologise for it. It has taken me years and I’m still in that classroom of life, where I’m learning to be at home with myself. You see, when you are at home with yourself, people will know. You will never have to conform to be accepted because you know who you are.
Society has given us different images of a woman but I ask of you today, what kind of woman are you? Who is that woman you have you defined yourself as? Have you mapped out an action plan to becoming her and finding fulfilment in her?
Before you can find fulfilment in a man’s bed, you must first find one with yourself. If not each time you get with your man, it will be sex and not love making. When you are filled with love, you will make it memorable for him. Remember, it is you the woman, who comes to bed with your emotions. For him, it is physical. However, when you are the fulfilled woman that you are, you will make it memorable for him. He will be at work and start calling, I’m on my way home. Why - because you left a piece of yourself in and with him last night. Don’t you dare stop reading; you know I am telling the truth right there.
In conclusion, like Miss Taylor, I will never apologise for the behaviour of a man who does not know how to treat a woman right but if you are like me, take this to the bank.
“Choose a man you can love, and work with him. Or commit to understanding more deeply the one you’re with. But before any man becomes your lover, make him your friend and, most important, see him as your brother. Don’t let little things irritate you. When there’s conflict, soften your heart, recognise his innocence – or ignorance – and don’t have an attitude. Speak kindly. Be reverent. Practice peace. Be a role model for the behaviour that you want him to adopt.” Susan L. Taylor - author, All About Love
Easier said than done but it is possible. This is where I tell you that's one of many nuggets in this book. Go get yourself a copy because I am not coming back to this subject.
Images: Essence Magazine and Barnes and Noble
